Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Oak Ridge Adventures.

So I'm in Oak Ridge for training this week. If you aren't familiar with Oak Ridge, basically it is a medium-small sized town nestled into the rolling hills of Tennessee, built as the "secret city" by the government back in the days of the Manhattan Project and the atomic bomb. So that is pretty cool. And their high school where I'm training? Amazing. My school system should come take notes. Oh my gosh. Now THAT is a renovation done right. 

But I digress. So I'm in Oak Ridge. While their history is cool, you know what isn't? Their Pizza Hut. I was craving some good old fashioned greasy pizza and their $8 deal for a medium couldn't be denied. So I googled "Oak Ridge Pizza Hut" to see if there was one and indeed there was. I gave them a ring. I'm staying at a hotel so the first question I asked was if they could deliver to hotels. I should have known something was wrong when she said "usually but right now we don't have drivers so we can't deliver anywhere." To which I said, after she was silent for a bit - "so can I just pick it up?". Again. Pause. Then - "well can I take your order then?" and I'm all like "ok...." and order. 

Then I get a wild hair and ask for a small order of cheese sticks (because who doesn't love some grease and fat with their grease and fat?). Well what do you know - Ms. Pizza Hut says "oh we don't have the bread to make those or the breadsticks."

Really? Ok I should have known then. So I laugh it off, say it's better that way and it must be waistline making that call, all awkward trying to play it off. I give them my name/number and hang up. Then I realize I have no idea where this place is. So I google it and the address is RIGHT OUTSIDE my hotel. So I look out the window and see a Hardees and a Mexican restaurant and think "that can't be." 

So I call Pizza Hut. I ask their address and a teenager (I could detect his pimples over the phone) says "um...." and so I say "ok - what are you near" and he responds with "Wal-Mart and a Goodwill and a bowling alley." So I hop in the car and head towards Wal-Mart. I then proceed to drive around for 30 minutes (no lie - I checked my phone log from when my dad called until when I got there) and cannot find it. I get stuck in the mall parking lot and can't find my way out. Once I do, I can only turn right instead of left because of a median (I needed to be left) and then figured I'd do a U-turn around the median except there was a big "no u-turn" sign AND a police station right there. 

So here I am, making the block again and by the time I get back on Illinois, I see the freaking bowling alley. Are you kidding me? So I drive in the complex (which, by the way, is behind the Hardees and the mexican restaurant. across from my hotel. I know.) and I see a huge Pizza Hut sign in the corner (which wasn't visible from the street). But then I can't find the entrance. Nowhere. I sit in my car for a minute confused until I see this woman - a beacon, an angel, a savior, walking out of this strange alley with a pizza. I FOUND IT! I FOUND THE PIZZA. Now it has been 35 minutes and I'm walking down this strange alley, convinced I'm going into a meth lab. 

I finally get my pizza (no meth but met pimple face) and realize I'm thirsty and Pizza Hut has only Pepsi products (um no) and so on my way out, I figured I'd stop at Hardee's. Things started looking up when I saw they had Cherry Coke (yum.) And then I sat behind a busted up van for FIVE MINUTES waiting to order. Now five minutes doesn't seem that long until there is a perfectly delicious and wonderful pizza that you drove for 30 minutes to find sitting next to you. 

I finally get to order my drink and realize this Hardee's is special because it is also a fast food Mexican restaurant. Just to top off my story. Who does that?

I get my drink and drive away, only to realize I can't turn left out of this parking lot either - only right because of a median. Really Oak Ridge. The medians have got to stop. This time I did a U-Turn, keeping eyes peeled for cops, and made my way back to the hotel, where now almost an hour later I plopped down to indulge in my pizza. 

And so here I am. In Oak Ridge. Eating pizza. Watching HGTV. Coming home Friday. 
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mollie bailey said...

Ha!! You should have gone to Big Eds!!!!

Robyn said...

You and your stories bring laughter to my life. :) Now get home so we can have drinks!

emwvaughan said...

New retirement plan: open a combo Hardee's-slash-fast food Mexican restaurant :-) Genius!


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